


♾ 𝘜𝘚𝘌𝘓𝘌𝘚𝘚 ♾ |MÄRKH¥ÚÇK|

by UwuSunshineMinho



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Light Smut, M/M, Philophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24593587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UwuSunshineMinho/pseuds/UwuSunshineMinho
Summary: "ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ʟɪꜰᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴋɪʟʟꜱ ᴍᴇ""𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫."Mark Lee, is not the type of person to show his love very well. He's actually afraid to fall in love. He has Philophobia. When Lee Donghyuck the one that is so madly in love with Mark, finally has had enough of feeling useless to Mark, Mark feels like he has to face his fears and kick it in the ass.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	1. ＣＨΛＲΛＣＴΣＲＳ　（ェヅ益）

**ＣＨΛＲΛＣＴΣＲＳ （ペレぅ）**

****

**Lee Donghyuck**

**"I'm done being useless to you!"**

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**Mark Lee**

**"You were the love of my life and it kills me to do this"**

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**Lee Taeyong**

**"This is gonna get bad before it gets worse"**

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**Kim Doyoung**

**"Oh suck it up you big baby"**

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**Huang Renjun**

**"Is it normal to feel broken?"**

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**Lee Jeno**

**"I screwed up"**

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**Na Jaemin**

**"Am I going to be okay?"**

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**Zhong Chenle**

**"Screw love. It's just a big bunch waste of time"**

****

**Park Jisung**

**"This is what I get for being so damn annoying"**

***ᴜꜱᴇʟᴇꜱꜱ***

**"𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫."**

**𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘓𝘦𝘦, 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭. 𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘗𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘢. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘓𝘦𝘦 𝘋𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘬, 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘬, 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘴.**

**"ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ʟɪꜰᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴋɪʟʟꜱ ᴍᴇ"**

**©υωυѕυηѕнιηємιηнσ**

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	2. ＰＬΛＹＬＩＳＴ　（ギ虞イ）

**ＰＬΛＹＬＩＳＴ （ーなゑ）**

**1) This Is Gospel: Panic! At The Disco**

**"'ᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴋɴɪᴠᴇꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏꜰᴛᴇɴ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ꜱᴄᴀʀꜱ, ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴇᴀʀ ᴏꜰ ꜰᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ ʙᴇ ᴛᴏʟᴅ, ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱ, ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴇᴀʀ, ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴇᴀʀ ᴏꜰ ꜰᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ"**

**2) When The Day Met The Night: Panic! At The Disco**

**"ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ ꜰᴇʟʟ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴜɴ, ᴀʟʟ ᴡᴀꜱ ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴋʏ, ᴀʟʟ ᴡᴀꜱ ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴍᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ"**

**3) Chasing Cars: Snow Patrol**

**"ɪꜰ ɪ ʟᴀʏ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ɪꜰ ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʟᴀʏ ʜᴇʀᴇ. ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ?"**

**4) Forest Fire: Brighton**

**"ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴍʏ ʜᴏᴍᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ ɪ'ᴍ ʟᴏꜱᴛ, ꜱᴏ ʟᴏꜱᴛ"**

**5) It Is What It Is: Lifehouse**

**"ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʙᴜʀʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀɪɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴛᴏᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʀʏɪɴɢ"**

**6) Blue Ocean Floor: Justin Timberlake**

**"ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜱᴇɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛʙᴇᴀᴛ ɪ'ʟʟ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʟᴜᴇ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ ꜰʟᴏᴏʀ, ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴜꜱ ɴᴏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ, ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙʟᴜᴇ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ ꜰʟᴏᴏʀ"**

**7) Breathe: Of Verona**

**"ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ, ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ ᴍᴇ ꜱʟᴏᴡʟʏ, ᴋɪꜱꜱ ᴍᴇ ꜱᴏꜰᴛʟʏ, ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ, ᴡʜɪꜱᴘᴇʀ ʟᴏᴜᴅʟʏ, ᴘᴜꜱʜ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ, ᴍᴀʀᴋ ᴍʏ ʙᴏᴅʏ, ʟᴏꜱᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ ɴᴏᴡ"**

**8) Restless Heart Syndrome: Green Day**

**"ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴡᴏʀꜱᴛ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ"**

**9) Stronger Than Ever: Raleigh Ritchie**

**"ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ. ᴡʜᴏ ᴀᴍ ɪ ᴋɪᴅᴅɪɴɢ? ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴀᴅ"**

**10) Go Solo: Tom Rosenthal**

**"ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ɢᴏ ꜰᴀʀ, ɪ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ʙᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ, ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ'ᴍ ᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ"**

**11) Pieces: Red**

**"ᴀ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ᴍᴇꜱꜱ, ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜱᴄᴀᴛᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴡʜᴏ ɪ ᴀᴍ. ɪ ᴛʀɪᴇᴅ ꜱᴏ ʜᴀʀᴅ, ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ, ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ꜱᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴀʟᴏɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ"**

**12) Come Back For Me: Jaymes Young**

**"ᴏʜ, ᴡʜᴀᴛᴇᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴇ"**

**13) Void: The Neighborhood**

**"ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠɪʙᴇ, ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ, ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ, ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠᴏɪᴅ"**

**14) Friends: Chase Atlantic**

**"ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱʟᴇᴇᴠᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʙᴇᴇɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ, ʀᴜɴɴɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴄɪʀᴄʟᴇꜱ, ɴᴏᴡ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ᴅᴏɴᴇ"**

**15) More Like Falling In Love: Jason Gray**

**"ᴄᴀᴜɢʜᴛ ᴜᴘ, ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ, ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴍᴇ ɴᴏᴡ, ɪᴛ'ꜱ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ'ᴍ ꜰᴀʟʟɪɴɢ, ɪᴛ'ꜱ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ'ᴍ ꜰᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ"**

**16) Find My Way Back: Eric Arjes**

**"ɪ'ʟʟ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴍʏ ᴡᴀʏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ"**

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	3. 一

**一**

**"'ᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴋɴɪᴠᴇꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏꜰᴛᴇɴ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ꜱᴄᴀʀꜱ, ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴇᴀʀ ᴏꜰ ꜰᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ ʙᴇ ᴛᴏʟᴅ, ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱ, ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴇᴀʀ, ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴇᴀʀ ᴏꜰ ꜰᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ"**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**Philophobia. Noun. Meaning: The fear of love or of becoming emotionally connected with another person. It’s a phobia. A fear. It also can affect your social life and the traits of yourself. And see that is what I have. Philophobia. No one knows it. My parents sure don’t. Like they would even care. They care more about my older brother Taeyong, more than they care about me. Taeyong is four years older than me. I’m eighteen years old -- he’s twenty-two years old. Taeyong is the school’s counselor here -- well counselor in training, he’s still trying to get his masters degree. But I just really don’t know why, my parents care about my older brother than me. I mean -- they did care for me -- until I was five. I swear they neglected me as a child. If I get hurt, they don’t care. But, if Taeyong gets hurt, they come right to his side like .05 seconds he falls. But, it takes them like an hour to acknowledge that I was hurt. I hate it. I just hate it. I don’t hate my brother. I can’t hate him. There’s in me for me to hate him. He’s a good person. He’s got a good relationship. He’s got a good job. He’s smart. He’s . . . perfect. While I’m here, just being, Mark Lee. Boring. Nothing. Fucked up. Broken.**

**“Mark, why do you look so gloomy?” I hear a voice pull me out of my thoughts, and I look up to see the sight of my best friend Lee Donghyuck -- smiling so brightly. How can one person be this happy, everyday, every second, every minute, every hour? Teach me please. I know that he’s in love with me. I mean, who wouldn’t? It’s pretty obvious that he is. But, I physically can’t return those feelings to him. I’m too scared to fall for him. I’m too scared to be neglected again. It’s a good thing he doesn’t see how much I’m struggling to tell him, that I can’t return his feelings.**

**“Mark~~~” Donghyuck sang waving his hand in my face, and I jump back**

**“Huh? What?” I ask**

**“Did you hear me?” He asked me with a small smile on his face**

**“No. I’m uh -- I’m sorry. What did you say?” I ask him and he chuckled and shook his head**

**“Oh, Markie -- always having his head in the clouds.” He joked and he sat down on the table right next to me “I said: how are you on this pretty day?” He asked me and I sighed -- this is the kind of thing I hate about Donghyuck sometimes. He’s so happy. I can’t be that happy. I don’t even think I’ve ever been that happy.**

**“I’m fine.” I say blankly and Donghyuck frowned at my answer**

**“What?” I ask him**

**“You always say “I’m fine”. Not even a “good” or “splendid” it’s just a simple “fine”. It really makes me think you’re not fine, and that there is something wrong.” Donghyuck says -- ugh I hate it when he sees right through me.**

**“What’s going on Markie? What’s wrong?” Donghyuck asked me with this tone of concern in his voice. I can’t tell him what's wrong. He’ll never understand. He’ll just ask a bunch of questions. He’ll just try to fix it. It can’t be fixed. So I’ll just answer with a simple**

**“Nothing. Just tired.”**

**Hmm, he seemed to believe it. Thank god. I can’t have Donghyuck asking me what’s wrong, all the time. The more he asks, the more I struggle with not telling him. I know he might feel so bad about this. But it’s for the best.**

**“Jeez, Markie, get some more sleep --” Donghyuck tries to say before I cut his words off**

**“Umm, Hyuck, I’m gonna have to get to class -- I’ll see you later.” I say and he was confused on why I had cut him off so suddenly, because I never cut him off -- I’m always listening to him talk -- for hours!**

**“O-okay. W-well, I’ll see you later.” Donghyuck stuttered sadly, and I sigh and I stood up from my seat, and I grabbed my bag, and I began to make my way out of the cafeteria, leaving a confused and sad, Donghyuck, behind.**

**∞∞∞**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

**I sighed, as I watched Mark walk away from me, leaving me just so confused and sad at the same time. I wonder what’s going on with him. We’ve been friends since freshman year and he’s never been like this. I mean, sure Mark has always been kind of quiet and affectionless -- but as each year goes on, it just gets worse. I feel like I’m useless when I’m with him -- as fucked up and sad as it sounds, it’s just how I feel.**

**“Hey, Donghyuckie, what’s going on?” I hear a voice ask me, and I turn my head to see Renjun walking over to me and he had the biggest smile on his face**

**“Mark’s just acting weird.” I say to him, and he sat down next to me**

**“And that’s weird how?” Renjun asked -- Renjun has always thought Mark was just the weirdest person he had ever met in his life. But I always thought Mark was just so interesting. Mark was quiet -- but I’m always loud, so I think we just balance each other out. Mark was just this person you can talk to, for like hours, because he’ll listen. That’s why I fell in love with him. But, now he looks like he doesn’t even listen anymore. I don’t know.**

**“Earth to Donghyuck? Come back down to earth.” Renjun says snapping his fingers in my face**

**“What?” I ask and he chuckled**

**“Thinking about your “Markie” again?” Renjun mocked and I scoffed**

**“Ha-ha, very funny.” I say sarcastically**

**“No seriously, Renjun, I’m honestly worried about Mark, he’s just been so different these days.” I say to Renjun with a worried tone in my voice and Renjun sighed and patted me on the shoulder**

**“It’ll be fine. Mark is just going through a phase -- Mark is just weird.” Renjun says and I look over at him**

**“Do you always have to call him weird? He has feelings, Renjun.” I tell him and he shrugged**

**“He’s weird -- I’m sorry.” Renjun says and I shook my head -- Mark whatever is happening, you can tell me. We’re still best friends. Right? Right?**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 1 of my new story!!**

**Now I know what you’re thinking: Raelee, did you just not make a new story -- yeah, buttt I just want to make myself work haha!!**

**So this is going to be 2 chapters every Sunday -- as you can see I’m behind again! Because I was getting distracted, and I honestly didn’t feel good yesterday with what had happened Saturday.**

**So this story will involve: HEAVY ANGST, LITTLE FLUFF, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, CAR CRASHES, AND TEENY TINY MATURE CONTENT**

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!**

**[RAELEE]**


	4. 二

**二**

**"ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ ꜰᴇʟʟ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴜɴ, ᴀʟʟ ᴡᴀꜱ ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴋʏ, ᴀʟʟ ᴡᴀꜱ ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴍᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ"**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**“Mark, you can’t keep coming in my office, everytime you want to complain about Donghyuck -- it takes time away from the people who need counseling.” Taeyong told me and I pouted -- I always need to vent to Taeyong, about Donghyuck, school, life. But, since he’s got a job, I can’t seem to go to anyone to vent to. I mean, I can go to Donghyuck to vent -- but I don’t think he’ll appreciate me complaining about him, to him.**

**“B-but, who’s gonna listen to me vent?” I ask my brother**

**“Hmm, I don’t know, ummm Donghyuck.” Taeyong says, like he really doesn’t want to talk to me -- great. Good job, Mark, now your own brother doesn’t even want to listen to you. No wonder mom and dad like him better. All three of them can’t even deal with my bullshit.**

**“Mark, I’ll talk with you later, but right now I need to go and see someone.” Taeyong told me as he stood up from his chair, and he patted me on the head, and walked out of the room. I leaned back into the chair, and I sigh shakily -- Jesus, why can’t I even have anyone listen to me? Taeyong seriously had to make an excuse to go see my English teacher -- Doyoung. Doyoung is like three years older than Taeyong, but when Taeyong was eighteen, he had the hugest crush on Doyoung, and I really don’t know how he ended up with him, but he did. I was pretty shocked to see Taeyong with him and I was even more shocked to actually get him as my English teacher. I feel my phone buzz and I pull it out of my pocket and I look at it, and I saw I had a text from Donghyuck**

**‘Hyuck🌞: Hey, Markie, it’s lunch time where are you??’**

**‘Mark: Yeah, I’m on my way -- just hang on, alright?’**

**I sighed and I put my phone back into my pocket, and I leaned my head on the back of the chair -- I just want this pain to end.**

**∞∞∞**

**“Oh there you are! You were taking so long, that I thought you weren’t going to --” Donghyuck says and he had this smile on his face, but he cut himself off when he saw me and he frowned**

**“Hey, were you crying?” Donghyuck asked and I shook my head**

**“No. I’m fine.” I said to him and I sat down in my seat, and my leg was bouncing up and down quickly, and I was breathing heavily, trying not to burst into tears right at this exact moment.**

**“Markie? Are you sure, you’re okay?” Donghyuck asked in a soft voice**

**“Yeah, I’m sure.” I say through gritted teeth -- truth was, I’m not fine. I’m just so scared. Scared of feelings. Scared of emotions. Scared of just drowning in my own self hate. Scared of the neglect. I want someone to love me but I’m still scared of it. I can’t fall in love because I'm terrified of the same thing happening.**

**“Mark, are you sure you’re okay?” Donghyuck asked one more time and I literally couldn’t take it anymore, I could feel the dam breaking and breaking**

**“Yes, I’m fine! Stop asking me that!” I yell, and Donghyuck flinched back, and I saw my other friends, Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jisung just standing there just shocked -- because I never raise my voice at Donghyuck -- hell I never even raise my voice. I’m so quiet.**

**“S-sorry.” Donghyuck whispered, and I sigh shakily, and I stood up from my seat, and I just ran off, ignoring the calls from my friends to tell me to come back. I can’t face him. I just keep fucking everything up.**

**‘God, Mark Lee, you’re such a disgrace.’**

**‘You’re such a disappointment.’**

**‘You keep hurting everyone. You let them down.’**

**‘You’re a waste of space. You are nothing.’**

**‘Just nothing.’**

**Those are what the voices tell me. Guess what, they’re right.**

**∞∞∞**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

**“What was that about?” Jaemin asked as him and the other boys sat down at the lunch table, and I poked at my food, in sadness. Mark, yelled at me. Mark never yells at me. Did I do something wrong? Seems like I feel like I’m just nothing for Mark. He lies to me. He sometimes doesn’t answer my texts and ignores my calls. He never seems to smile. I miss that smile. The smile that I’ve fallen in love with. Where’s the cute, quiet, and innocent, boy, I’ve fallen for? This new boy is nothing that I’ve liked. This one is scary. This one is . . . empty.**

**“Donghyuck?” Jeno’s voice brought back to the real world, and I looked at them**

**“What?” I ask them**

**“You’re crying.” Jisung says softly, and I widened my eyes, and I touched my cheeks gently, and I felt the wetness on my finger pads -- I indeed was crying. God, I hate that I’m so emotional. I wiped my face, and I cleared my throat**

**“Sorry for that.” I say and I chuckled sadly**

**“Donghyuck, if this is hurting you so bad, maybe it’s time to let Mark go.” Chenle says, and I felt my heart just stop for a second**

**“What?” I softly ask**

**“Donghyuck, no offense, but if you haven’t noticed, Mark doesn’t feel the same way, like you feel for him. Mark probably doesn’t even like the way you’ve been treating him. You’ve been treating him like you two are dating, and he finally blew up because he couldn’t take it anymore.” Renjun says and I literally felt like I felt my heart just get crushed into someone’s hands.**

**“What Renjun is trying to say -- Donghyuck, you’re gonna get nowhere, trying to chase after unrequited love like this. You’re just going to get hurt. I feel like you need to let Mark go.” Jaemin recommended and I just shook my head, as I felt more salty warm tears roll down my face. I’ve loved Mark ever since freshman year, and I just had this feeling in my heart that maybe, oh just maybe, Mark felt the same way I did. But after hearing what my friends just said, I have a feeling that I’m just wasting my time, trying to have Mark like me and feel the same way.**

**“M-maybe, you’re right. For the last year or so, I’ve been feeling pretty useless lately.” I say with a melancholy tone, and chuckle sadly**

**“We’re sorry, Donghyuck, we know this is a hard thing to admit.” Chenle says and I sniffled and I shook my head**

**“No. It’s fine. This moment was bound to happen anyway. Me and Mark were so different. Mark never tells me how he is. He never opens up about his feelings. I can’t read his mind. I can’t feel the emotion he’s feeling. The more I open up, the less I see any emotion from him. I just feel so damn useless.” I say bleakly, and I feel arms wrap around me, and I just started to sob a little bit, while I had my hands clutched at my chest -- the place where it hurts the most. My heart. It hurts there. God, it hurts so much.**

**“Oh, Donghyuck.” I hear a whisper come from Renjun as I just continue to cry softly -- what am I going to do?**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 2!!**

**Wow such sadness -- god I’m trying new writing styles and I feel like I just made my writing so more depressing haha**

**New chapters: June 14th**

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**[RAELEE]**


	5. 三

**三**

**"ɪꜰ ɪ ʟᴀʏ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ɪꜰ ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʟᴀʏ ʜᴇʀᴇ. ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ?"**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**I groaned, putting my head against the school wall. What the hell did I just do? Did I really just yell at Donghyuck, when he did nothing but try to help? Ugh, yes I did. I’m such an awful person. What the hell is wrong with me? Maybe I should just die. Yeah, that seems like a good idea. Woohoo.**

**“Mark, can I talk to you?” I hear the voice of the person I was most dreading to talk to -- Donghyuck. Ah, what the hell do I say to him? How am I supposed to talk to him?**

**“Y-yeah sure.” I stutter, and that made me groan slightly in my head -- did I really have to stutter? GREAT!**

**Me and Donghyuck just stand in front of the wall, as I felt my hands start to shake a little bit -- oh god, what is going to happen? Donghyuck sighed and I could tell he was a little nervous.**

**Oh god, now I’m nervous.**

**“Soooo, ummm, Mark, I was wondering, do you want to hang out with me and the guys today after school?” Donghyuck asked me and I sigh shakily and I looked down at the ground -- oh how I want too, but I just can’t. I just can’t.**

**I’m sorry, Donghyuck.**

**“Umm, sorry Donghyuck, but I’m very busy today.” I say softly while looking down at the ground and Donghyuck scoffed**

**“You know what Mark, I’ve had enough!” Donghyuck yelled causing me to flinch slightly -- why is he yelling at me? He never yells . . . well at least not at me.**

**“You’re always, saying “I’m busy” every time I ask if you want to hang out. You never listen to anything I say anymore. You lie to me. Just say you don’t want to be friends anymore, and get over with it.” Donghyuck snapped and I looked up at him with wide eyes**

**Not be friends anymore?**

**No, I can’t have that. Donghyuck is my best friend -- I can’t lose him, because then I’ll be alone -- well more alone than I am right now.**

**“Donghyuck --” I start to say but he cut me off**

**“Mark, I’m sick of being useless to you! I try and I try to be reasonable with you, but the more I’m with you, the more I feel like you really don’t care about our friendship. I’m sorry, Mark, but I’m done.” Donghyuck told me and I felt my eyes well up with tears, and he started to walk off, and I wanted to run after him, but my feet physically couldn’t move.**

**It’s like my body was not letting me run after him.**

**I felt lines of tears roll down my cheeks, as I slid down the wall, my body hitting the ground, and I tried to keep my sobs inside my body, but it was kinda hard, with the voices in my head telling me all these awful things, and watching Donghyuck get further and further away from me.**

**“D-donghyuck.” I cry out, but it was no use, he was already gone down the hall.**

**He wouldn’t even hear me anyway since I’m so quiet.**

**Donghyuck, come back!**

**I’m sorry!**

**Please, please, please come back to me!**

**∞∞∞**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

**I wiped away tears that were cascading down my face, as I sniffled softly. I can’t believe Mark didn’t even try to fight for our friendship . . . though I didn’t give him a chance to do it. But, he just let me walk away . . . so he kinda gave me confirmation that he really didn’t want to fight for our friendship.**

**It was hard to walk away from him, because I love him so much. Even though he lied to me, ignored me, and blew me off for different plans, I can’t help my love for him.**

**As I was walking down the hall with my blurry vision, I had bumped into someone -- oh great! Now people get to see me crying. That’s just great. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, I was just -- Donghyuck?” I hear the voice of my English teacher, and I freeze up. Oh god. It’s Doyoung. He’s dating Taeyong. Who is Mark’s brother. Oh my god, I’m so screwed!!**

**“Hey, Mr. Kim.” I mumble as I had my head down, and Doyoung moved down to look at me, and he raised my head slightly**

**“Are you crying?” He asked me**

**“N-no.” I stuttered and I felt my breathing become shallow, and my whole body was starting to shake a little bit, as tears just started pouring down my face**

**“Oh Donghyuck.” Doyoung whispers as he pulled me into a hug, and I started sobbing into his shoulder**

**“It hurts, Doyoung! It hurts so much.” I cried**

**“Shh, it’s okay.” Doyoung whispered but it didn’t work, I just felt my heart just break and break more. I don’t think I can handle this.**

**I can’t.**

**I just can’t.**

**I love Mark too much.**

**∞∞∞**

**Renjun’s P.O.V**

**I’m just very worried about Donghyuck . . . and Mark -- yes I know that I’m not the biggest fan of Mark, but I can physically tell that something is seriously wrong with Mark. I can see it, Jaemin can see it, Jeno can see it, Chenle can see it (okay maybe not Chenle) , and most importantly Jisung can see it. Donghyuck can see it too, and he’s tried to help him, but it’s not working. Every time I just watch Donghyuck put himself out there for Mark, it’s like watching your friend get rejected by the one you love the most -- I guess that’s how I feel.**

**I like Jeno, but Jeno likes Jaemin -- but the thing is . . . I also like Jaemin. Heh, liking two people at the same time, who don’t like you back. Crazy right?**

**God, I feel like Donghyuck right now.**

**Chenle and Jisung have each other. Jaemin and Jeno have each other, but with me . . . I’m alone. Just like Donghyuck.**

**“Hey, Renjun, have you seen Donghyuck?” Jisung asked me bringing me out of my depressing and lonely thoughts**

**“Uhh, no I haven’t. Why?” I ask him and he frowned**

**“I heard from Jaemin that he and Mark just ended their friendship.” Jisung says and I widened my eyes**

**“What?” I ask**

**I mean; yeah sure, we suggested that he should consider letting him go, like five minutes ago, but I didn’t know that he would actually do it. Oh god, this is bad. This is so bad.**

**“Yeah, I saw Mark sitting against the wall, while he was just staring blankly at nothing, and I was going to walk up to him and try to comfort him, but he totally just flipped out on me. It was kind of scary to be honest.” Jisung told me and I sighed**

**Where is Donghyuck? We need to talk to him.**

**∞∞∞**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**Okay. Everything is fine. Yep. Everything is all dandy. Nothing is wrong. My friend didn’t just end our four year friendship. It was just a bad dream.**

**Oh who I’m kidding -- everything is fucked! Jisung came over to check on me, and I just totally just lashed out on him. Ugh, what is wrong with me? He was only trying to help and I had to go and fuck it up.**

**Just like I had to go and fuck it up with Donghyuck. If only I could return his feelings, then none of this would’ve happened. We would be happy. We would love each other. I would finally be happy. I wouldn’t be scared. I would finally be able to feel loved, instead of unloved and unwanted.**

**But sadly that’s not going to happen.**

**I don’t know what to do.**

**I don’t know how to fix this.**

**I just want Donghyuck.**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 3!!!**

**Yeah sorry for the lack of updates with this story, I have the attention span of a fish so I get distracted very easily haha!!**

**I also was gonna update this last week but I had some stomach problems sooo that postponed my schedule haa!!**

**Also Useless is now gonna be updated on Thursdays instead of Sundays because I feel like that would be easier!!**

**Also I plan on making another story today sooo only one chapter for Useless today.**

**I’m only gonna do one chapter update this week until next week with the regular schedule with the 3 update chapters.**

**So Markhyuck drama . . . it hurts me haha!!**

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**[RAELEE]**


	6. 四

**四**

**"ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴍʏ ʜᴏᴍᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ ɪ'ᴍ ʟᴏꜱᴛ, ꜱᴏ ʟᴏꜱᴛ"**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**What to do? What to do? I seriously don’t know what to do. I feel miserable. It’s only been one day, since me -- wait not me -- Donghyuck ended our friendship, and I feel like my life is falling apart. I mean it’s already falling apart, this just adds fuel to the fire.**

**“So Mark, Taeyong says you weren’t in your sixth and seventh period class yesterday.” Mom spoke up and I just tense up, because I know what’s coming. I can feel it coming.**

**I spent the last two periods in Taeyong’s office, as he said I could stay there, because even though he tried to send me back to class, I wouldn’t budge, so he just gave up and let me stay in his office.**

**He also promised that he wouldn’t tell mom and dad that I skipped sixth and seventh period.**

**I feel betrayed.**

**“Yeah, I just didn’t feel good.” I say, which is the truth, I didn’t feel good.**

**I still don’t feel good.**

**I’m just waiting for them to say “suck it up”. Just like they always say to me. I’m just waiting for it.**

**“Well, you should’ve sucked it up, and not have ditched class.” Dad says**

**There it is.**

**Whenever Taeyong doesn’t feel good, they have to baby him, and make sure he’s okay, whenever he was home sick from school, or if he just didn’t feel good, he would go home early, but when I ask to go home early, when I felt like I was going to throw up, or maybe I got injured and maybe have a concussion, they always tell me to “suck it up” or “school’s almost over, push through it”.**

**What did I do to deserve this?**

**I wish my parents will just treat me like they treat Taeyong.**

**I just want them to love me.**

**Is that too much to ask?**

**∞∞∞**

**I walked into Doyoung’s classroom, and I honestly just didn’t want to be here. This whole day from breakfast to now, has been going terrible. I tried to talk to Donghyuck, all day, but he wouldn’t even acknowledge me. I went to sit at their lunch table, but Donghyuck gave me this look, like he didn’t even want me to be there.**

**That was understandable.**

**Hell, I don’t even want to be here on this Earth, for much longer.**

**The only reason why I haven’t killed myself yet, is because of Donghyuck. Donghyuck, was like my home. He made me actually feel loved, and he actually cared about me.**

**But now that he ended our four year long friendship, I just feel lost.**

**Lost. I can’t find my way around the world now.**

**Ugh~~ back to square one.**

**Back to where no one cares about me anymore.**

**I was about to sit down in my seat, until Doyoung had stopped me**

**“Hey, Mark, can I talk to you?” He asked me and I nodded and I walked over to him, as he was sitting at his desk**

**“I noticed you weren’t in class yesterday, or your seventh period. You wanna tell me what that was about?” Doyoung asked me with this soft and gentle voice**

**“Yeah, I just didn’t feel good, so I spent the sixth and seventh period in Taeyong’s office.” I tell him and he nodded**

**“Okay, but at least tell me, so I would’ve marked you as excused.” Doyoung told me and I nodded and he sighed**

**“Okay, you can sit in your seat now.” He says and I nodded and I walked over to my seat and I sit down in my seat, that was sadly next to Donghyuck**

**“Mr. Kim, can I change my seat?” Donghyuck asked Doyoung, and I felt my heart just crack in half -- well that hurt**

**“Donghyuck, you’ve had that seat all year, and I’m not changing it. You know I said the seat you sit in on the first day is your seat until the end of the year.” Doyoung told Donghyuck and he sighed annoyed and he sat back in his seat, while I just was sitting in my seat, looking defeated as ever.**

**‘Good going Mark’**

**‘Wow, even your own best friend hates you’**

**‘No wonder. You’re such a disgrace’**

**‘It almost makes me want to feel bad for you’**

**The voices in my head say and they just made me feel worse about myself -- worse than I already feel**

**Ugh! I hate my life. I hate it so much.**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 4!!!**

**A little bit shorter sorry about that, but the next chapter will be longer than this one, I swear haha!!**

**Sorry for not updating this story in like a month, but the last two weeks of July and the first week of August I was not feeling good, and last week I was just feeling lazy haha**

**But I was gonna update on my birthday, but I didn’t feel up to it**

**So I’m gonna be doing Thursday-Saturday updates, while also writing Sunday’s updates so I can upload them first thing tomorrow.**

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!**

**[RAELEE]**


	7. 五

**五**

**"ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʙᴜʀʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀɪɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴛᴏᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʀʏɪɴɢ"**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

***ONE WEEK LATER***

**I’m an idiot. I know I am. I fucked up a four year long friendship. Just because I couldn’t tell him my true feelings. I was only trying to bury the pain of my own feelings, and I took it out on Donghyuck, and made him cry. I hate people crying, it makes me feel awful, because most of the time it’s me making people cry.**

**But, once in a while, I can hear Donghyuck crying in the boys bathroom, when I walk past to go to my class, and I just feel this patch of guilt, in my chest, and in my stomach as well.**

**I made this happen. I’m the one who let this happen. I’m the one who didn’t stop Donghyuck from leaving. I tried, but I should’ve tried harder.**

**Donghyuck, I hope you know . . . I’m sorry.**

**∞∞∞**

**Donghyuck’s P.O.V**

**It’s been a week since me and Mark ended our friendship -- well I should say I’m the one who ended our friendship, because I’m the one who didn’t give him a chance to speak, I’m the one who didn’t give him a chance to explain himself, I’m the one who didn’t give a chance . . . at all.**

**I was the one who was supposed to care for Mark the most, because Mark always looks so gloomy all the time. For the past week, I saw how Mark wouldn’t look up at anyone, like he has no confidence to look at people, which makes me sad because whenever Mark was with me, he would be very confident.**

**I made him confident . . . kind of.**

**But now he just lost that confidence.**

**But, it’s not like he’s not the only one who’s hurting from this. I’m hurting too. Sometimes, during my free period, I hide out in the bathroom, just to cry, because I know no one will be in the bathroom during class hours.**

**I want my best friend back. I want the person I love back. But I honestly think it’s too late for that. I honestly think he doesn’t want me back. Hell, I wouldn’t blame him.**

**“Donghyuck, are you sure you’re okay?” Renjun asked me and I looked over at him, and I could see the others giving me these sympathetic looks.**

**Oh boy.**

**They have been giving me these looks, and they’re always walking on eggshells around me, and to be honest, it’s kind of getting annoying at this point.**

**“Guys, you don’t have to walk on eggshells around me, I swear, I’m fine.” I tell them and Jaemin shook his head, while he took a sip of his devil coffee**

**“Y’know, Donghyuck, you’re not fine, you know why? Because Jisung and Chenle hear you crying in the boys bathroom every time they pass by.” Jaemin told me and I widened my eyes -- how in the hell did those two children found out about that?**

**“Why aren’t they in class?” I ask**

**“We have free periods, and we help around the school.” Jisung says and I groaned softly, great maybe I have to go outside to cry my eyes out. Well, no I can’t, then the soccer team gets to see me bawl my eyes out. UGH!! I hate that I can’t cry in peace.**

**“Donghyuck, just face it, you’re not fine.” Jeno says and all of them walk off, leaving me alone, and I sighed**

**“Great.” I whisper**

**∞∞∞**

**Renjun’s P.O.V**

**I look over on the right side of me, to see Jeno and Jaemin being all lovey dovey with each other and I sigh softly. I just wish one of them can like me back, it doesn’t matter if it’s Jeno or Jaemin, either one is fine. I just want to feel loved. But, I honestly think that’s not going to happen, because I heard from Chenle, that Jeno and Jaemin are now in a relationship.**

**I didn’t believe him at first, until I saw them kiss each other before going to their classes, and I just felt my heart sink to the ground, when I saw that moment happen. I knew I didn’t have a chance with either one of them, but good god, I didn’t know it would hurt this much.**

**Ah! I can’t take it anymore!**

**“Can you guys be more lovey dovey somewhere else?” I ask and they both looked over at me, and Jeno chuckled**

**“What is Huang Renjun jealous?” Jeno asked and he pinched my cheek, and I slapped his hand away. I know he was joking, but fuck, at least be considerate about my feelings, goddammit.**

**“Such an asshole.” I whispered and I started to walk off from the two people I like**

**“Injunnie, where are you going?” Jaemin asked and I looked back at them, as I was walking backwards**

**“Anywhere but here.” I say and I turned back around and continued to walk away from them, is it normal to feel like this?**

**Broken?**

**Alone?**

**Because I feel like this right at this exact moment.**

**Chenle’s P.O.V**

**“Hey, Jisung, do you think something is going on with Renjun?” I ask my boyfriend, and he looked over at me with this confused look**

**“What do you mean?” Jisung asked me and I sighed**

**“I mean, ever since I told him Jeno and Jaemin got together, he’s been very . . . how to put it? Distant.” I say**

**“Isn’t Renjun always distant?” Jisung asked and I shrugged**

**“Distant to a point. But, he’s been avoiding Jeno and Jaemin ever since he found out about them being together.” I told him and he sighed and he was quiet for a few seconds, and he then looked over at me, like he had got it**

**“What is it?” I ask him**

**“Maybe, Renjun, likes Jeno.” Jisung suggested and I sighed**

**“Or maybe he likes Jaemin.” I suggest and he widened his eyes**

**“Or maybe he likes both of them.” Jisung says and I chuckled in surprise**

**“No. No way. That’s not possible, is it?” I ask him and he shrugged**

**“Could be.” Jisung told me and I sighed and I thought about it, Renjun did always make googly eyes at both Jeno and Jaemin, whenever he had classes with either one of them. I thought it was weird that he did that to both of them, but now to find out that Renjun may like both Jeno and Jaemin, it makes everything make so much sense now.**

**Mark’s P.O.V**

**I hate P.E. What is the point of it? There is no point in it. None of us are gonna use P.E. later in life. I certainly am not. I hate all the sports we play, the sport that I will actually play is dodgeball but I still hate it. Because people like to throw the ball and hit me in the face. But when Donghyuck was next to me, and a ball was coming towards my head, he would always catch it, and throw it back to the person and knock the wind out of them. It also didn’t help that Donghyuck was on the softball team. He chucked the ball more than throwing it. It’s a good thing softball season is not until spring. Because, Donghyuck is terrifying when he’s on the field of a softball game.**

**Oh great. Dodgeball. My favorite. Note that sarcasm. We were playing against the Junior P.E. class, and to be honest, I’m terrified, because all those boys are on the football team, or the softball team. I’m so screwed.**

**The game had started, and I was standing at the back, hoping that I would not get decked in the face. Well that hope didn’t last long, as a ball was coming towards me but I ducked it, and I tried to hide behind people, like the tallest person in this class. Lucas.**

**“Mark, quit hiding behind me.” Lucas told me, and pushed me into the game, and I sighed, and I went to hide behind the other tallest person in the class. Johnny.**

**“Mark, get into the game.” Johnny told me and he moved causing me to be right in the middle, and I was just frozen, as a ball came flying towards my face, and I was waiting for that impact but it never happened.**

**I was confused on why nothing happened, until I looked up to see Donghyuck holding the dodgeball, and I felt my heart just start to beat faster a little bit. “No aiming for the face.” Donghyuck says and he chucked the ball at the person, and hit the person right in the stomach, and that caused the person to heave over to the ground.**

**I’m so glad I’m not on that team.**

**“Are you okay?” Donghyuck asked me and I nodded**

**“Yeah.” I mumble**

**“You need to learn how to defend yourself, Mark. I’m not gonna be there 24/7 anymore.” Donghyuck told me and he went back to the game, and I just felt my heart crack again.**

**I thought this was gonna be a good moment, but then I remembered we’re not friends anymore.**

**Why did I get my hopes up?**

**I sighed, and I walked over to the wall behind the game, and I leaned against it, and I felt myself beginning to slide down the wall.**

**Screw dodgeball!**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 5!!!**

**Oof shit is going to get good in these next chapters, I’m not ready!!!**

**And you’re not going to be ready either!!!**

**It will be getting more angsty from here on out!!!**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**[RAELEE]**


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